Dissecting Influence

In the previous post, we discussed 2 headlines and why they worked. I’ve already mentioned the benefits in the headlines, so you should read that post first and make sure you understand it. 

Today I want to discuss the use of logic in the second headline. And I don’t mean the common usage of the word logic, like ‘Oh, that’s logical.’ I’m talking about the formal definition of logic - the use of AND and OR in structuring the offer. 

The second headline uses the phrase ‘and/or’ several times through it. You can presume that the writer wasn’t intending to confuse the reader.(At least, let’s hope that’s the case.)  That leaves us with the idea that the phrase was to suggest the flexibility of the offer.

Did it work? Was the flexibility shown? I don’t think so. 

Here’s why - When someone is reading a headline, you can assume that they are in a hurry. You have a few precious seconds to make a connection or you’re in the weeds. The reader will turn the page, leave your site, or throw your piece in the trash. You want the headline to be appealing and uncomplicated. By introducing the ‘and/or’ phrase, you create this convoluted array of combinations that’s confusing. 

Imagine that the reader is humming along, reading your headline. Then she gets to the ‘and/or’ part and she stops to think,

‘Wait, does mean that it is included or that it isn’t included?’

More importantly, the language makes her stop just long enough to say,

‘This sounds like some type of trick. They are making it unclear so that they’ll have a loophole to get my money.’

And after that, she’s gone. One more prospect who’s left you.

Don’t add complications to the headline. Make it simple.

I’m reading a book called “50 Case Histories on How to Write and Design Ads that Work.”  So far, it’s interesting. The editors of the book reviewed the results from successful ads (both consumer and business) and reported on the aspects of the winning letters. I’d change some things in the book, but it’s interesting nonetheless. You could get a great list of ideas from this book.

Here’s one of the examples tested for an ad on insurance:

Headline 1: “Great new insurance plan pays hospital, surgical expenses”

Comment: Not great, but it’s short and direct. And the benefit is obvious. 

Headline 2: “Now great new insurance plan offers you protection for hospital, surgical, and/or doctors’ bills and/or lost income.”

Comment: This headline has no rhythm or flow, but it does offer more benefits. 

The first headline pulled in double the response. (That’s not surprising. It is easier to read and it flows.) The editors claim the second headline should have done better, since it’s providing more benefits. More benefits equals higher results, right? In general, yes.

In this case, there are two flaws in the copy. 1 - The underlying story going on in the customer’s head. 2 - The use of logic (specifically, the word ‘OR’).

Let’s talk about the first one. Stories.

Every person on the planet is living in their own reality. Even you. Now, I’m not talking about the crazy people you see in the insane asylums or the people who have been hit with demetia. I mean every person on the planet - even the sane - is living in their own reality. They have their own history, language, experiences, and stories. Any experience is filtered through this lens of reality.

By the way, this means you, too.

As you read the headline above, you are running through an internal story. In the first headline, the story is - “Well, I know I have to pay hospital bills and they sometimes get expensive, so it would be nice to get money to pay them off.” The basic idea is ‘Free money’ or ‘Free hospital care.’ 

That’s a fairly compelling benefit. 

In the second headline, the same benefit is described as ‘protection from …..” Although logically equivalent, the story going through someone’s head is different. The reader is thinking, “Protection!?!? I need protection from the hospital…? Are they the mafia? Do they mean protection from disease? Am I going to get sick if I go to the hospital? Wait, what if I die?” and so on….

By using the word ‘protection’, the story inside a reader’s head becomes, ‘The hospital is going to do something to me that forces me to need protection.’ 

That’s not really the best motivator. In fact, I bet this headline scared more people away from the hospital.

Just because you are adding more benefits doesn’t mean that the reader is interpreting them as such. Always pay attention to the story going on in your reader’s head. Remember, you are writing for their reality, not yours. 

As for the second attribute - Logic - I’ll cover that one tomorrow.

In one of the most overlooked areas of marketing, picking the right words can either skyrocket a campaign or bury it. Many times, changing a word or two is the difference between acceptable results and stellar, out of this world results. But the language is rarely scrutinized at the same level compared to the other components of a campaign. Why is that?

There are 3 main reasons:

One - it’s hard. Writing and editing is time consuming. It takes effort and discipline. Most people (except for professional writers) don’t want to take the extra time to refine their copy. 

Two - people don’t get it. Most business owners and marketers don’t realize the effect that changes to their copy will have.

Three -  people don’t believe. Of those that are don’t about the power of language, many don’t believe that a few word changes will make a difference. (Personally, I can relate to this viewpoint. I shared it for many, many years. )

Don’t underestimate the words you use. Spend time going through your campaign looking for words that aren’t carrying their own weight. Change them immediately. Even a few changes will make a difference.

My 2005 post, Neuroarchitecture Next Buzzword, was more premature than prescient. In the ensuing years, the idea that neuroscience had anything to offer architects received little public attention. Now, however, the field is again in the public eye.
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